What if life didn’t have to feel so hard? What if life actually could feel easy?
I’m not saying there may not be times we feel challenged and tested, when the intensity of the moment may feel overwhelming. I’m thinking those are part of the experience of living as a human. We grow from the times of challenge. Not that I want to feel challenged every moment of every day — though I see that I’ve learned a boatload from the intense times. There is value to be found if we look.
I’m finding that how I look at anything and everything absolutely colors, dare I even say creates, what I experience.
The intense times, say when the bills need to be paid (and it’s a month of extras, oh goodie — car insurance, DMV registration fees, annual renewals for stuff like AAA), the kids are going nuts, bouncing off the walls and needing something (I have no idea what but the Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, MAMA!! leads me to believe it’s something mission critical, like dessert), I’ve got a headache and feel gassy (probably a result of needing more chocolate!), and the to do list has grown all day (damn you, to do list). I feel pressure and tightness inside, tension welling up from deep within my stomach. Sometimes I try to push it down, to fight that energy — and then it usually erupts all over me and anyone in close proximity.
Lately I’ve been trying to just feel whatever wells up, to sit with it (reminding myself that no one I know has ever died from feeling a feeling or emotion). To not fight it.
It’s a curious thing, this not fighting practice (or I guess I could also call it a letting it be practice). While the FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT urge is very strong, it rarely seems to end well. And while the let it be route takes much more conscious effort and intentional energy at the beginning, I’m finding that it results in actually net positive energy for me. If I can let the feelings of tension be, they’ll eventually dissipate and I’ll find myself with more open space inside. It’s a lot easier to decide which way to go with the open space (rather than facing a rock wall of FIGHT).
And somehow, I see that the choice is always there for me — to fight or to let it be (which becomes let it be easy). The fight energy ultimately leaves anything feeling harder, stucker, impossible-r. And to let it be? Perhaps initially scarier, though a weight falls away and things inside open. And maybe even a laugh, shoulder shrug, and kiss on the head emerge when the little voices pipe up with Mama! again.
What do you think? What if we let it be easy?