Wiring and True Colors

Wiring and True Colors

It’s interesting — the timing of when I write each day has a lot to do with what I end up writing about. As I’ve been practicing writing based on whatever is forefront in my mind/body/feelings (much easier to write about what’s here, rather than forcing myself to write about something I “should” write about — I’ve tried that plenty and it doesn’t turn out so well), it’s been fascinating to see how I twist and turn with feelings and emotions throughout the day.

For example, after a low energy wake-up with sore muscles (which a spot of yoga greatly helped), I started off today doing an interview with the lovely Nicole Lazar (keep an eye out for the finished version next week or the following). Once done, I got stuck for a while listening to the voice in my head worrying about how things went, what she/others thought, etc. On a side note, I’m noticing more and more how often the voice pops up when I’m stretching out of my comfort/safe zone (the place where I don’t do much so I won’t risk making a mistake).

When I noticed I was listening to my inner mean girl and starting to feel down but then getting better at more quickly noticing what was happening and letting myself feel, rather than start an inner fight, I thought that’d be an interesting topic for today. Revived, I drafted a post + made a short video on annoying inner voices. I didn’t have quite enough time to get things done before picking up my son from school, so I shelved the post/video until later.

After picking up, getting home, and watching my kid play outside in a spot of sunshine following a morning of rain, I wasn’t sure I was feeling that topic anymore. My feelings has shifted to more delight and appreciativeness for life, and my life in particular. I love where I’m at, how I spend my time (most of the time), and that I can spend time with my kids. I thought maybe I’d write about that. However, after a few spoonfuls of frosting (we’re testing out some new products for a kindergarten cooking project on Friday), I felt kind of sick (too much frosting!) and didn’t feel like writing anymore. I decided to take a rest while my kids watched the movie Trolls (which I surprisingly really enjoyed; did you know Justin Timberlake voices/sings one of the lead characters?).

Now after a rest and a movie, I feel like riffing on how feelings shift greatly throughout the day (at least mine do!). I think mine always have, though I used to think that because I could go from happy to sad to grumpy to annoyed to who knows what rather quickly, that it was a sign of something wrong within me. Now I’m thinking it’s just how I’m wired — and that it’s okay. I get stuck when I stop/fight the flow of emotions and feelings, not when I feel whatever is there. It’s interesting to notice.

Anyway, on a related note, if you’re looking for a fun movie to watch and haven’t seen Trolls, I’d highly recommend it. Here is my favorite song from the movie: “True Colors”. I cry each time when we get to this part.

And because I feel like including a picture, here is a favorite of one of my favorite people in the world. She helps me see (and appreciate) my own true colors.

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