What I Know Right Now

What I Know Right Now

What I know in this minute:

-It feels good to have thought about dinner in advance and have the ingredients for pulled pork cooking in the slow cooker before lunch.

-I future-trip a lot. Or past-fall. Or find myself off in some daydream. Like when I’m doing yoga in the morning and I’m running through Moana in my head and humming the songs, and then I’ll realize I have no recollection of the past 5 minutes of exercise. But I guess I followed along because I’m still doing what the lady on the video is doing.

-I love my kids. So much it hurts sometimes. I never really knew I could love like this. When I hear having kids described as like having your heart living outside your body, I better understand what whoever said/wrote that meant.

-I kind of feel like folding laundry and/or cleaning something.

-A part of my brain/some inner voice wants me to edit my life a lot of the time (so it’s more “right” or something). I’m getting more and more aware of this push to edit. Sometimes I find myself lost up in it; other times I recognize it for what it is. Kind of interesting.

-Learning an aerial cartwheel was one of the highest gymnastics highs I can remember. I was about 8 and training at a gym in Wisconsin called Lakes Area. The gym was on the top floor of an insurance building. It was actually a concern for falling out the window on bars or beam if the events weren’t set up properly and we misjudged timing for a dismount. The gym itself was small and did not have a regulation-sized floor mat. And it was where I began to love gymnastics – I feel warm and fuzzy thinking about it. Anyway, the day I figured out how to do an aerial on my own was awesome. I did the skill over and over — because it felt amazing. I wonder if I could still do one.

-My kids are really loud sometimes. I have more and more empathy, compassion, and appreciation for my parents. Parenting is something else. Some days I want to trade it for something else, but really, I wouldn’t. It’s too interesting and continually stretches me (plus a million other reasons, including getting in trouble with some authority if I ditched). To my parents, thank you.

That’s all for now. Things may change in a moment or stay the same. I guess we’ll see. I’m practicing staying in the now. It’s kind of challenging.

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