Yesterday I scrubbed out the showers. It was the last item to do on the bathrooms (my husband cleaned the rest of the bathrooms over the weekend — I’m working on accepting the help!).
It felt good to get something done and check “bathrooms” off my list. That line item has been skulking around for weeks. However, I noticed there is a fine line, for me, between taking care of my life and the stuff in it and becoming a maniac doer with the motto “Get out of my way, do what I say, one more thing to do!”.
The first feels good; the latter — not so much.
If I’m in an open frame of mind, cleaning can be kind of fun, a real-time reminder of the awesome stuff I have access to (like indoor plumbing and clean water) and the people I have around me (things get dirty so quickly because of all of us living in the house, which means I’ve got people around me I love). When in maniac doer mode, I lose sight of this stuff and can only see that I need to check another thing off the list RIGHT NOW or the world might end. I become this frantic stress-ball, short with my kids, only able to see what isn’t done, and rushing, rushing, rushing. (And then this stress and need to rush bleeds into everything else — not good).
This distinction became clear yesterday. As we were nearing the get ready for school mark, I could literally see myself changing into a crazy person. Rather interesting. Looking at it now, I see that I didn’t need to become a crazy person — it’s my choice. If I choose that route, it makes everything harder and life a heck of a lot messier and less fun.
Today I’m keeping this in mind as I work on my to do list. I’m also wondering where else I’m doing something like this — so I can knock it off. The maniac can be left at the door.